Emotional abuse, sometimes referred to as mental abuse or psychological abuse, can happen in intimate relationships, family dynamics, workplaces, or peer interactions. Unlike physical violence, emotional abuse often leaves no visible scars, but its impact on mental health, emotional well-being, and personal boundaries can be profound and long-lasting. Additionally, adults with a history of childhood trauma, including emotional, physical or sexual abuse, may be at an increased risk of experiencing emotional or psychological abuse in later relationships, particularly if early trauma has shaped their attachment, self-worth, or coping patterns. Research shows that childhood maltreatment and abuse are associated with a higher likelihood of revictimisation in adulthood, including intimate partner violence that can include psychological or emotional harm.
Understanding emotional abuse signs and knowing when to seek support is critical for protecting yourself and others. This guide explains common indicators of emotional abuse, provides guidance on how to deal with emotional abuse, and highlights when a professional assessment may be required.
Signs of Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse often involves consistent patterns of manipulation, control, and verbal harm. Recognising these behaviours early is essential. Emotional abuse can include psychological violence, coercive control, or subtle emotional neglect.
Here are the most common emotional abuse signs:
Constant Criticism and Name-Calling
Emotionally abusive behaviour often starts with repeated verbal abuse, insults, or belittling comments. Over time, these actions can lower a person’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Examples include:
- Persistent name-calling or derogatory nicknames
- Constant criticism of personal choices, appearance, or behaviour
- Minimising achievements or blaming you for mistakes
- “Joking” that actually undermines confidence
Controlling Behaviour and Coercive Control
A hallmark of psychological or mental abuse is the abuser’s desire for power and control. This may appear as:
- Monitoring your whereabouts or digital activity (emails, texts, social media)
- Limiting social interactions or isolating you from friends and family
- Controlling finances, work, or personal decisions
- Using threats, intimidation, or emotional punishment to enforce compliance
Gaslighting and Psychological Manipulation
Gaslighting is a common tactic of mental abuse where an abuser causes you to doubt your memory, perceptions, or feelings. Indicators include:
- Denying abusive incidents occurred
- Trivialising your experiences or emotions
- Blaming you for the abuser’s behaviour
- Causing confusion about your own feelings or judgment
Emotional Neglect and Silent Treatment
Abusers may use neglect, withdrawal, or the silent treatment as a form of emotional and psychological abuse. Signs include:
- Ignoring or invalidating your emotions or needs
- Preventing you from socialising or seeking support
- Making you feel unimportant or invisible
- Turning others against you to increase dependency
Intimidation, Threats, and Emotional Violence
Even without physical violence, threats or intimidation are forms of emotional violence. Examples include:
- Threats of physical harm, sexual abuse, or domestic abuse
- Using fear to maintain power imbalance
- Frequent yelling, aggression, or mood swings that make you feel unsafe
- Financial abuse or other forms of coercion
Am I Being Emotionally Abused?
If you’re questioning whether you’re experiencing emotional abuse, consider the following:
- Do you feel afraid or ashamed in interactions with a partner or family member?
- Are you constantly criticised, controlled, or manipulated?
- Do you feel isolated from friends, family, or support networks?
- Is your mental health, emotional well-being, or self-esteem being affected?
Answering “yes” to one or more of these questions may indicate an emotionally abusive relationship. Emotional abuse is never your fault, and it’s important to trust your instincts and reach out for help.
How to Deal with Emotional Abuse
If you’re experiencing emotional abuse, your safety and wellbeing come first. In Australia, emotional abuse and coercive control are recognised as forms of family and domestic violence. If you are in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000).
Reaching out to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, GP, or mental health professional, can help you gain clarity and support. Free, confidential help is available 24/7 through 1800RESPECT, Australia’s national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling service.
If it feels safe to do so, keeping a record of abusive behaviour may be helpful for accessing services, legal advice, or medico-legal support. Emotional abuse is never your fault, and specialist services can help you plan next steps, protect your mental health, and explore your options.
When to Seek Professional Help
You may consider an assessment for childhood trauma when experiences of emotional abuse or neglect continue to affect your mental health, relationships, or daily functioning. This includes persistent symptoms such as post-traumatic stress, anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, or long-standing low self-esteem linked to early life experiences.
A professional psychiatric assessment may also be appropriate where an independent, objective report is required for legal, rehabilitation, or medico-legal purposes, including family law or other court-related matters.
Our psychiatric medico-legal specialists provide comprehensive, evidence-based assessments that examine the psychological impact of childhood trauma and emotional abuse, supporting diagnosis, treatment planning, and the preparation of formal psychiatric reports for courts where required.